Can you picture what your life will be like in 5 years?

dead

Ask me anything . shoot !

What made you smile today?

friends.

Ask me anything . shoot !

formspring.me

Ask me anything . shoot ! http://www.formspring.me/swittuff

wonder.

I wonder, why is a guy like you stay behind for a girl like myself.

I'm full of problems.

I'm a plain girl who are clumsy, childish and so full of nonsense.

Why should u be with me?

Because to me, someone like u should have a hot, sexy, skinny rich girlfriend unlike me.

Ur perfect.

U always make me smile, make me laugh, make me giggle all day long, u make me feel special.

U make me feel happy just by smiling at me.

U make me feel like nothing else matters.

U make me feel like I'm in fairyland, and we would live happily ever after.

Ur just so damn perfect.

Why have u chose me?

Ur the guy who girls wish to date.

Ur the guy that girls would chase heads over heels for.

And somehow, despite  all those pretty princesses, u chose me.

I am thrilled.

I am grateful.

But I am also confused.

Why me? 

ice cream.

td aku g jenjalan lalu la ternampak la peti ice cream tu. ms puasa ni, dengan cuaca yang panas membakar. ice cream tu amat menggoda. aku macam boleh nampak pulak ice cream tu kenyit mata kat aku. dye jerit jerit manja panggil nama aku, sroh aku beli dye. hati aku meronta ronta nak beli. 

TAPI

aku puasa. aku pon berlalu. ice cream tu pon mnjerit sedih mengguriskan hati ku. 

tragiskan cte aku kali ni. 

tapi. yang aku nak cte ni. cte ms aku kecik kecik. mak aku buat bisnes. jual ice cream yang dalam plastik tu. yang buat sndiri tu. yang 20 sen tu. laa. susah plak la aku nak explain. umah aku ad freezer yang besar gila hanjeng dan sejuk gila babi. dah la besar. sejuk pulak tu. mak aku slalu la buat ice cream tersebut. ktorang adik beradik pon sronok la. dapat la makan ice cream free. mak aku dulu buat macam macam flavour. ad pandan, milo, strawberry, jagung, limau. bnyak la. sumpah best. rasa panas sket, amek 1. tgk tv, amek 3. masok bilik, amek lagi 3. cmna la nak laku. kakak aku tak amek bnyak la. aku ngan adik aku je yang salu curik. mak aku slalu bengang. sebab ice cream habis. tp xde duit. ksian mak aku kan. aku ngn adik aku pon kutip la sgala jenis duit yang ada kat rumah. masok la dalam tabung tu. pastu mak aku pon happy dan dye buat bnyak bnyak bnyak lgi ice cream. gila heaven sial.

at least ad gak aku bayar kan? 

ramadhan menjelma lagi.

puasa. dulu masa kecik kecik sangat sangat la rajin nak berpuasa. shari puasa dapat la seringgit. kalau puasa penuh dpat la 30. dlu mana la ada nak datang bulan dan bintang. dulu suci dan bersih gitu. tu la yang bole dapat 30 hengget. zaman dulu dulu memang klaka. kat skolah, g amek wuduk, mnum sket. kembong perut mnum air paip. dulu puasa tu senang je. main tengah panas pon bole puasa lagi. budak budak kan ms tu. xde godaan. skng nih. godaan bsepah sepah. mcd kat sblah kiri, kfc kat sblah kanan, pizza hut kat dpan. fuhhh. bole sawan kat situ. 

masa kecik kecik dulu, bila mak ayah ajak g bazaar, laju je ikut. berebut nak duduk lam kete. sampai kat bazaar. jadi rambang mata. semua nak beli. semua nampak cam sedap. masa tu, perut dah buat konsert dh. masa tu bazaar tu dah jd cam syurga makanan. kiri kanan depan belakang semua makanan. balik tu, masing masing ad plastik bag kat tangan. kuih muih beraneka jenis, macam macam warna, macam macam bentuk. 

bila balik rumah, tunggu masa berbuka, mesti nak pastikan kuih yang kite beli td, paling dekat ngn kite. senang nak amek. tengah makan tu, bila adik beradik kita capai tangan nak amek kuih yang kite beli tu, kite marah. tp last last bkn nya abes pon. mmbazir je la. ish. buruk prangai. makan banyak banyak then masa nak g terawih, buat muka. cakap tak larat la. homework la. ms tu rajin plak nak buat homework kn. bila mak paksa, merajuk ngn mak. tak cakap sepanjang lam kete. bila dh sampai kat masjid. fulamak. dengan aircond nye, rasa di buai buai plak untuk tido. mata pon da tak nampak ap. hitam je. tau tau pastu ttido masa sujud. hadoyai. 

masa kecik kecik dulu, punya la naif. compare ngn bdak bdak zaman sekarang. banyak gila beza. sampai aku takut nak ada anak. 

wow

ad gak ek org bace blog aku nih. hahahahaha! terkedu gak ah, :)

hmm. manusia mulut memang tak ley nak tutup. walau pon benda yang ko buat tu lam 30 tahun yang lepas pon blom tentu lagi dyeorang akan stop cakap. what the hell is wrong with u guys.

what the hell. mls nak peduli. kalau peduli sangat pun, aku gak yang sakit ati. 

movie

sape yang dah tengok transformer angkat tangan!

meh sini aku sekeh sorg sorg. asal dah tengok? aku tak tengok lagi ni. ish. bila la nak tengok kan kan kan. nanti la. bila aku free. skang ni aku bz membuat perkara perkara yang tak berfaedah. cam bengang gak la. bila orang dok post status kat fb psal transformer. da tak surprise da. sape yang post kat fb angkat tangan lagi! meh sini aku nak tembak seekor seekor. haaaaa. geram tol la. jom la g tengok reramai. bru ada syok punya. :)

aku imagine transformer dah upgrade tau. dah ad rumah sendiri. 

macam ini punya la pung. hahahahaha! comel je engkau ek. geram tol la. cabut skru kang. haaa. :)

diy

oleh kerana aku da curik langsir dapur. so dapur pnye langsir sangat pendek dan bole nampak sampai bilik aku yang tersangat BERSIH. oleh kerana itu smlm ktorg g beli kain tau. kat jusco. aku pon pilih la kain yang 100% tak masok cahaya. happy gila aku bila pk aku tdo tak kena cahaya matahari. syok gila. bila sampai rumah.aku pon terkesima. lupa plak. camna la aku nak buat langsir ni. bkn nye ad mesin jahit. pening la gak aku. setelah cucok mencucuk dan gunting lelobang yang perlu ada. berpeluh aku. ish. peluh betina aku menitik jatuh. memang pening la. sebab memang tak pernah buat. dan kain yang utk orang masuk kan cangkuk tu tak ade. kalau tak, senang je la.aku pon menganbilkeputusan utk menjahit menggunakan tangan.

dan.
jeng jeng jeng.

akhirnya, langsir aku pon siap.jadi la cm bentuk langsir. bole tahan la. tak la burok. masih berfungsi dengan jaya nya. dan memang cahaya tak masuk.gila babi. aku terlajak tdo sampai kol 2. dan aku pk msih pagi. oh bilik ku yang sejuk. i lap u very much! 

ni la hasil penat lelah aku. 

oh yea. bilik aku memang banyak kaler merah. jangan tanya mengapa. sebab aku pon tak tau. hahahaha!

malas

hari demi hari. aku makin malas. keja aku, kua, makan, tdo. ish. tp syes aku makin malas. pelik kan. sebab dulu aku ni seorang yang rajin kot. KOT. but still. skng aku amat la teramat la very the very malas. mengapakah? hmm. ap ntah contoh kemalasan aku. 

aneh kn. aku pon pelik. bila la aku nak rajin ni. cepat cepat la hari tu sampai ye. susah tol. ish. ni pon aku tak tau ap nak tulis. sebab malas nak taip. ish. apedaaa. cepat cepat la rajin heendaknye. oh oh. jom g swimming. :) 

takut hantu.

yes. mmg ramai yang takut jenguk kat lua tingkap. yang brani jenguk tu budget macho. tp seriously, aku takut. kalau aku g tengok movie seram. aku akan cepat cepat ttp telinga dan mata bila dengar je bunyi lagu yang scary slow semacam. pastu gerenti ada part hantu muncul slow slow ke cepat cepat ke medium ke. buat aku sakit jantung. yang part hantu kua cepat cepat tu memang aku buat aku maki habis citer tu. sebab tu aku tak nak tengok cter hantu. ish. kang tido malam dah la sorang. naya aku tak tdo. 

nak di jadikan cerita. kalau kat rumah sewa dulu. masa budak budak ni semua balik. aku pon dok la kat rumah sensorang. kesian kat aku. nak balik pon tak tau nak balik mana. ish. umah jauh. kampung lagi jauh. nak holiday. fulus pon tarak. lepas tu kan, lepas tu kan. aku g la tengok tv sensorang. dah la malam malam buta. tengah aku syok syok tgk movie omputeh tu, ttba la iklan. hati dah mengeluh. ttba plakiklan cte hantu. mmg aku ttp mata ttp telinga la jawab nye. bila aku agak agak dah abes tu, aku bkak la. dan dan time tu gak antu babi tu muncul. siap jerit lagi. ish. aku lempang kang. geramtol. aku terus la g tutup tv. ish. scary kotttt. tu je la cte aku yang seram. hahahahahaha!

p/s: kalau nak ajak aku tgk movie, pastukan cter katun ye anak anak.

hmm

it have been a long time since ive updated this blog. what to write? 

yesterday ive gone to the hospital for another checkup. im tired of this. i really am. im tired of being sick. i just want to be healthy. i just want to be the old me. before all this happen. im tired of having this pain every now and then. i just want to be healthy. please. i dont want to go back to the hospital. i dont want to have to wait 3 long hours for my turn at the hospital. i dont want doctors to check and tell me that something is wrong with me. i dont want to be sent to another doctor for another checkup. i dont want to go for scanning or other shitty shit that they do. i want to spend all my time waiting for the doctor on other stuff. i dont want to be operated one more time. i dont want more scars on my body. i just want all this to stop. i just want all this to end. im tired. im tired of all this pain. i cant sleep. waking up in the middle of the night. im tired. please. 

emma. swittuff tu apa ? *sorry tetibe rasa nak tau.

swittuff. sweet tooth. :) ske mkn ggula.

Ask me anything . shoot !

ayie and lil baby monster

ive made ur tears falls. im so sorry ayie. im so fucking sorry. i miss u a lot bro. i miss u so much that it hurts. i miss u so much that every time something reminds me of u, my eyes flowed with tears. i miss u a lot. there are times that i wish that ur here. there are time that i wish that u were never gone. i wish that ur here, sitting next to me. eating all the rice and left the main part. u always say that ur saving the best for last. u would always be there listening to me babbling about stuff that doesnt really matter. aboout classes, about friends, about health. i talks a lot kn ayie. and u would just sit there and listen. listen to every words. laugh ur asses of with each and every jokes. even though it isnt funny at all. you would ask me where would we go next, and i dont have the answer. so we would just go around and around the block until we have someplace to go to. that one time that u refuses to talk to me, that is the hardest part. i need to talk to u and i want u to listen. when u did come to penang a few days back, i cried. i just miss u so much that i cant believe my eyes that ur there standing next to me. i wish u would never have to go. but u said that u got work to do. i didnt have the chance to tell u about my life here without u. i didnt have the chance to share my part of the stories. i didnt have the chance to crack jokes and listen to ur laughter. when i finally realize that ur really here, ur about to leave. leaving me here. god. i miss u ayie. when u finally drive away, i cried. i could only shake ur hands before u leave. i dont want to be around u too long, as i would definitely cry my eyes out. im sorry ayie. im really sorry for being such a baby. im sorry. please forgive me. :( from the bottom of my hearts. i miss u.

xoxo

ur lil sis
emma

p/s: lenkali dtg bawak awek. jgn sorg sorg. keta tu besar. haaa. :)

unfair

life may be unfair. but thank god as we can still breath. we can still see the sun rises early in the morning. we can still see the faces of the people that we love the most. we can still laugh with our friends. share hugs and kisses with families. we can still see the smiles on our friends faces. make jokes and laugh our asses off. be grateful. i need to learn to be grateful. even though there are times that i wish i was never born. but no one have the perfect life. literally. no one. no matter how messed up your life is, there are people who loved you. for who you really are. maybe you wont realize it now, but when those people are gone, the pain is unbearable. thank your friends. thank your family. thank you love ones. thank everyone. for loving you. thanks guys.for reading. :)

silly

im just silly little me. :)

20

im 20 years old. wow. time does fly fast. macam baru sekejap je. macam baru semalam aku kena marah sebab xbasoh kasut skolah. macam baru semalam aku kena puji dan dapat a dalam kelas muzik. macam baru semalam aku main kejar kejar atas meja lam kelas. macam baru semalam aku jumpa kawan kawan aku skang. lam 20 taun ni, aku banyak dah blajar sal selok belok lam idup ni. ada benda yang kita kna buat. ada benda yang kita jangan buat langsung. kalau boleh putar balik masa, ntah ap la yang jadi kat aku. kalau boleh putar balik masa, aku tak kan jumpa kawan kawan aku yang awesome ni. oleh sebab tu, aku rela hidup macam ni dr hilang kawan kawan. seriously, kawan kawan aku memang awesome. memang peneman hidup aku slama 20 taun ni. dyeorang la yang dengar segala apa yang aku nak luah. awesome kottttt. yes, i am very proud of my friends. kawan kawan aku dr seluruh pelusuk malaysia. dunia tu tak lagi la. tak cukup kabel. macam macam ragam yang aku nampak. macam macam kerenah. but they are my friends. and friends stick together until the end. like it or not, ur stuck with me. :)
20 taun. umor da berganda ganda. xsangka. sekejap gila kot. ishh. cam tak sangka plak aku dah tua. perangai mengalahkan kanak kanak ribena lam tadika. buruk kn. bila la aku nak mature ni. huh.


oh oh. ntw, thanks for the wish guys. jenuh gak ah nk reply. berpeluh cam lari marathon dah aku. thanks guys. u made my day, :)

low self esteem.

some of my friends have this things with low self esteem. i have this problem too. but guys, we have different strength. different priorities in life. different problems. guys, i love u all because of who u are. please. im not making this up. i love u guys. seriously. i will always be here. always. :)

sombong

ramai orang cakap aku sombong. aku sombong ke? sorry la kalau korang anggap aku sombong. aku tak sengaja. mintak maap ye. kalau aku tak bertego tu sorry la. tak kan la semua orang aku nak tego. letey la aku kan. lagi skali, sorry.

daddy

ayah, i have hurt u a lot since im born kn. please dont lie. i can see it in your eyes. 

ayah, im not the perfect little girl who u always dream of having. i am not miss goody goody two shoe. i have lied to u a lot. i am not the best daughter. comparing me and kakak, there are a huge, i mean really really huge difference between us. i am not smart ayah, but im struggling. i really am. im trying to be the best for u. to make u proud but somehow, things doesnt go along. shit happens. im blaming myself for making u cry. im blaming myself for making u think about all those silly things that ive done. u shouldnt have been thinking about me. u should not be worrying about anything right now. i am not a good daughter ayah. im sorry. i just want to say that im sorry for all the things that ive done. i love u ayah. eventhough we dont even talk much. i miss all those things u have done when i was little. sending me to school before u go to work. all those jokes. all those laughter. we dont have that anymore. 

i miss u. :( 

happy fathers day.

cinta lagi

what is love actually? who knows. people experience it differently. td sesi basuh membasuh dah start. yes, jodoh kita sapa yang tau. maybe anak makcik kantin masa kita sekolah rendah dulu adalah jodoh kita. maybe mamat yang kita jumpa kat tepi jalan tu jodoh kita. love is blind people. who knows. kn. :)

sometimes, my boy-friends asks, what does a girl wants in a boy. seriously, i don't really know. semua orang lain lain. ad orang yang suka laki macam james bond. ad yang suka laki ala ala shah rukh khan. kalau semua sama, susah la. memang terkontang kanting la laki yang tak memenuhi syarat tu kan. kesian beliau. memang susah kot. to me, aku nak laki yang just nice. he doesn't need to be handsome or good looking, i just want someone who is nice and kind. sugar and spice, cam lam cita power puff girls. i want someone spontaneous. full of surprises. cam lam cita cinta cinta tu. alaaaa. yang bajet romantik tu la. :) aku tak minat sangat la fancy stuff. aku just nak that guy to show effort. to show me that he loves me. sape la yang tak nak di manja weyyy. even laki kadang kadang nak gak kena belai. kadang kadang bole la. kalau slalu sangat, xpyah la. semak kot. some girls suka laki yang romantik. ad plak pompuan yang suka laki yang lawak. ad plak pompuan yang suka laki yang serious. everyone is different. and everyone have different interests. tuhan ciptakan kita dengan jodoh masing masing. dengan hala tuju masing masing. maybe ko tak dapat orang yang ko nak sekarang, maybe nanti. ko jumpa someone better. who knows. just dont ever give up. please. love is everywhere. u just need to find it. :)

semak

semak mata aku memandangsambil melihat orang orang yang terlalu obses dengan pasangan masing masing tapi tak sedar yang dyeorng tu da sampai memuakkan orang sekeliling. yes. xsalah nak tunjuk yang ko sayang. tapi tak kan la nak post kat facebook pnye wall.
contoh :

*sayang, honey nak mandi ni. honey rindu sayang la. sayang tunggu honey k? kalau honey da abes mandi, honey gtau sayang tau. tunggu k? honey sayang sayang. mwwwwahh! i love u!*

hadoyai. privacy la sikit babe. benda ni bole anta msg kn? handphone ad kn? yes. memang bukan tempat aku nak complain. maybe aku pon ad buat. sape tau. my mistake. harap harap xde la. and yes, memang aku takde hak pon nak complain. but dude, annoying kot.

ppppppppppppplease la nyahhh.
benda macam tu tak perlu nak tunjuk. orang tua skang ni makin maju. ramai yang dah ada facebook. even my parents ad. so, benda macam tu, kalau orang orang tua tengok, kan kena maki. percuma je dapat sepinggan bebelan dan caci maki masak cili padi. skati la guys, kalau nak kena, try la. :) good luck.

lelaki.

lelaki susah nak cari awek yang bole nak accept kawan kawan lelaki tersebut. benda ni aku bincang dh. memang. ktorg xde keja. baik bincang pasal final ke, ap ke. kan kan kan. :)

ntah la. aku nampak banyak je pompuan yang bole buat camtu. tapi aku akui ada gak pompuan yang tak ley nak terima kawan kawan pakwe beliau. ad gak yang terlampau menjaga sampai tak ley nak renggang langsung. susah gak la camtu. rimas tau tak. give space la. kalau dye btol sayang ko, xkan lari la. xyah takut. have faith, will u? laki ni cam pompuan gak la. kawan tu amat penting. sangat sangat penting. macam isi dengan kuku, macam aur dengan tebing, dyeorg memang tak ley dipisahkan. guys really treasure their friendship. so girls. try to accept these guys. when u cant accept his friends, u should just go and find some other guys. because these guys, they stick like glue. :)

posts

my post seems dull and down. yes. i am depressed. i keep my feelings to myself most of the time. i just dont know how to express myself. so, i just write it down and that make me feel a whole lot better. much much better. plus, there are not much things in my blog to be read. but somehow, i am thankful that some of u do read it and even give comments on posts. i appreciate it so much. thanks for reading peeps. :)

susah

memang susah sangat sangat nak puaskan hati semua orang. lagi lagi orang yang korang xsuka. nak buat camna. hmm. susah bla kita nak kena buat benda yang betul tapi nak kena susahkan kawan. kita susah payah nak puaskan hati kawan kawan dan sahabat handai kita, tapi dyeorg plak buat xtau je kat kte. kte tolong je dyeorg ble dyeorg susah. tapi bila kita plak susah. dyeorg buat muka taik cirit je pandang kita. memang ramai yang buat camtu kn. masalah btol la. leteh bila semua yang kita buat, dyeorg buang cmtu je. buat baik salah, x buat baik salah. abes tu nak buat cmne? nate beruk sungguh mereka itu. letih kan bila kawan tikam belakang. cube la tikam depan depan. dapat gak la kite tangkis. ni tikam belakang, mana la nak nampak. ish. susah.

time

there are times that i wish i could undo. times that i wish i could erase. there are time that i wish that it was just a dream. everyone makes mistakes. everyone regrets. but somehow we make the same mistake all over again. wtf kan. sakit tu kena terima banyak banyak kali. kalau boleh pusing balik masa, memang dah pusing dah. tapi memang tak kan dapat. bila pikir pikir balik, memang dah buat banyak salah. lagi lagi kat family. dah bertimbun timbun. samapai mati pon tak kan habis. memang la slalu minta maaf. tapi boleh ke orang tu nak maafkan? mana la kita nak tau. kalau dia tak maafkan? kan sampai mati kita kena tanggung dosa. manusia. memang ada sifat tak puas hati. memang ada sifat berdendam. lagi lagi kalau pompuan. cepat jeles. dengan apa apa pun nak jeles. jiran sebelah beli sofa baru, dye pon nak beli sofa baru gak. bukan ada orang nak dudok pon kn. buang duit je. buat semak rumah. ish. jiran sebelah beli rantai emas, dye pon nak gak. ishh. pakai banyak banyak, last last kena ragut. sape susah? haaa. sendiri naya. tapi manusia tetap manusia. memang macam tu.

kalau ada time machine kan best. :) tapi bukan melanggar hukum alam ke?

i am not the prettiest girl in the world. i am not the sweetest of them all either. i am not the richest or the wisest.
i am not the fairest or the nicest. i am not the skinniest and also not the healthiest. i am just me.

somehow, i just  wish that i would disappear. just like the wind. and no one could remember me. no one who could remember my mistakes. no one who would know me.

people talk.

easy for you to say everything is going to be ok , when the shit is not on you .

formspring.me

Ask me anything . shoot ! http://formspring.me/swittuff

rumah

balik rumah
bilik aku bsepah gila macam tongkang pecah. gila la. dah xley nak tengok lantai dah. ish ish ish. rasa malas gila nak kemaskan bilik. saat saat ni la paling bes kalau ad orang gaji. ish. xbaik kn kn kn. tp leteyyyy. hahaha. oh ya. nak cat bilik. tu pon kalau rajin la. hmm. nak cat warna merah. dan hitam. waahhh. bes bes bes. kn kn kn.


beza tinggal kat sarawak dan tinggal kat penang macam langit dan bumi.
bilik kat penang kongsi dengan kawan kawan. bilik kat sarawak aku sorang yang punya. bes gak ah kongsi bilik beramai ramai. macam muda muda remaja dok hostel. dapat sembang sembang, dapat gelak gelak. dapat tengok movie ramai ramai. walaupon kenkadang gelak tu terlebih. jerit tu ap lg. ishh.burok pngai. bunyi da lain macam. ish ish ish. kalau ramai ramai. xla takut sangat waktu malam. gelap gelita je rumah tu.at least kte tau ad org kat sebelah. kalau orang la. ishhhh. tamo tamo.

bab makan plak. xyah cta la. makan 24 jam. kalau kat malaysia ad sumo. da bole menang ni. makan kat rumah memang heaven. makan la sepuas hati. kalau habis, masak ag. bahan bahan dah sedia. duit xyah nak klua. xyah nak makan maggi sgt la kan. sehat skit. hahahahah! sehat la sangat. makan tdo makan tdo. ish. kalau kat rumah sewa memang susah. kalau xde duit dalam wallet, xyah klua la. dok rumah je. kalau kua g 7e tu, bkn nye ad atm. kna la gerak g atm yg terdekat, kat ptronas. wahhh. jaoh gila. tension nyah.

bab kenderaan plak. kalau kat rumah sewa, nk kena sewa kereta sewa. kalau kat rumah sendiri, nk naik keretaaaa... ap murid murid? kereta mak ayah. betulllll.. hahahahaha. minyak xyah isi.mintak duit mak ayah. duit belanja mintak kat mak ayah. kadang kadang kna saving gak. xde duit kn. kalau kat rumah sewa, kalau kereta sewa xde, dok la kat rumah tu. haaa. tgu janggut tumboh panjang sejengkal. memang bosan gila. ish ish ish.


walau ap ap pon, cane beza nya rumah sendiri ngn rumah sewa, aku rindu rumah sewa lebeyh. rumah sewa tempat kawan duduk dan lepak. gelak kuat kuat. gurau senda. manja manja. bermadu kasih asmara. ish. melalut. but still,i miss all that. hanging out with friends. i miss my house mates.

kereta

perlu ke kereta? macam x je. naik bas pon bole. tipu la kalau aku cakap aku xnak kereta. tapi, klau pk pk balik. bnyak lagi yang kna pk wlaupun da dapat kereta. minyak, condition. nk maintain. hmm. ssh kn.aku pon pening. haiyoookkk.. memang nak. tp membebankan kn? ntah la. ssh nak ckp. ad baik dan ada buruknya. bia la. ad rezeki, ada la tu.

:(

please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please.

home sweet home.

i still cant understand. where is home actually. is it the place where we were born, the place that we grow up, the place where we spend a lot of time there or the place where we feel most comfortable?

i miss penang. somehow, my heart does not belong here. i miss my friends. i miss them a lot. :)

next semester, ayie wont be around. he wont be there to take me for lunch or dinner. he wont be there to listen to me stories and jokes. he wont be there to wipe my tears when i cry. i am missing him. a lot. ive gotten close to him this semester. 1 semester is enough to make me love him as a brother and a very dear friend indeed. somehow, i need to learn to let him go. it was for his future. for his future family. he is my big bro. and i need to understand. he is doing this for a good cause. 

so emma, stop crying. k? he will be fine. :)

wishlist

there are a huge number  of things that I adore and wish to have. maybe i can't have it but i still can wish. right?

1. A black two door E30 1JZ with M3 wide bodykit.
2. A flat black perdana evo 3 with alpha bodykit.
3. A red kancil L5 with mini cooper body kit full with audio system
4.A red blackberry playbook
5.A black Dell alienware.
6.Ipad 1 and ipad 2.
7.Iphone 4 with invisible casing
8. ahuge house near the beach with a huge swimmingpool.
9.A warehouse that can place all the cars
10.A xbox 360
11.A shop of my own with full black and red stuff.
12.Unlimited chocolate supply for a life time.
13.Designer clothes.
14.Designer shoes and heels.
15.Designer bags.
16.Superbikes!
17.ATV
18.52 inch tv
19.A huge garden where i can plant my trees.
20.A full set of swatch!

But the most important thing is.
21.YOU

Life would be great if I have all those things.but my life would never be complete without u by my side. ur the one that I needed the most and none of those things above can replace u. i would rather die, than live in this world without u,my friends and my dearest family. ur my life and love u pa. :)

need a husband.

this post i just copy and paste.

sbb this post makes me cry.

<3>

Saya suka tengok jari awek saya...

Cantik betul... Sungguh!

Sampai takut nak pegang...

Bukan takut patah...

Tapi takut nanti jari kitorang tak boleh tolong each other

Di satu hari yang giler forever depan yang maha Esa...

Saya suka tengok rambut awek saya...

Cantik betol... Sungguh!

Sebab tu saya belikan tudung...

Bukan sebab jeles orang lain tengok jugak....

Tapi takut nanti terbakar dek api neraka

Di suatu hari yang giler forever

Saya suka tengok body awek saya....

Cantik betol...

Sungguh!

Sebab tu saya belikan dia telekong

Supaya mase die jumpa dengan Kekasih die Yang Utama

Dia lagi cantik dan berseri menghadap Nya.

Saya pun tumpang dapat pahala. Pheh syoknye...

Saya sedih tengok awek saya

Tak tido, tak makan rindu kat saya...

Saya pun macam tu jugak,

Ada problem yang sama..

Die tanya apa ubatnya?

Saya pun bagi die Quran untuk penenang jiwa...

Semoga lebih cintakan Nya dari saya...

Saya sedih tengok awek saya

Selalu pesan macam-macam kat saya...

"Makan, minum, drive elok-elok tau..

Nanti awak sakit saye susah ati bla bla bla bla" katenya....

Tapi bila tengok movie sama-sama burn asar maghrib gitu

Die tak kata satu aper pun...

Berdosanye saya....

Kesimpulannya saya memang sayang dia....

Nak jumper die giler forever...

Yang forever punye forever...

Di dunia dan akhirat terutamanya,

Janji nak share heaven sama-sama...

Bahagia selamanya...

Semoga kami saling mengingati,

Dosa sendiri pun infiniti...

Nak tanggung dosa dia lagi pulak lepas ni...

Semoga kami menginsafi diri...

Ya Allah ampunkanlah kami.....

Semoga kami dapat bersama selamanya nanti...

yes.

saya boleh.

aku bosan

 babi bilas biji biri biri buasir. berak bisa because bisul berry berry big. borong bas besi banyak bising bawa basikal. bengang bila beruang bawa buluh besar besar biar berselerak bersama buah banana. bila bagi bikar berisi biskut biri biri babi beruang berkejaran berebut bikar bersama. bila bikar burst. binatang bergelimpangan breakdance berkumpulan. begitulah berita berani barisan binatang baru.

terima kasih

thanks smua yang bace ek. 

:)

love is simple

Don't chase the one you want. Love the one you're with. Make space for loyalty. ♥

trapped

i feel like going out and have fun. im tired of being at home. im tired of being trapped. i wanna go to mcd and hang out with friends. and laugh all night long. i wanna stay all night. and talk about nothing. i wanna look at the stars. and pretend to touch the moon. i wanna be outside. where i can run round and around in the parking spot. im tired of being stuck inside.

:)

marry me.. 

today and everyday..

what is your definition of entertainment?

friends.

Ask me anything . shoot !

my life is so fucking perfect

there are times when i wish that i was never born. there are times that i wish that i would die. there are times that makes me wonder what are the purpose of me being alive. there are times that makes me feel like i am nobody.

but sometimes. those things just vanish into thin air as soon as i meet them. my friends. my family. my friends are the coolest ever. they make me laugh and they make me cry. they are the perfect companions. any days without them sucks. they complete my life. when there are times that i wish that i was never born. i would think of them. if i was never born. i would never met them. i would never have this much fun. i would never learn the true meaning of honesty and loyalty. there are times that i wish that i would die. i would think of them. they are my world. i don`t mind living, as long as i have them by my side. when i ever wondered what are the purpose of me living, i would think of them. i want to make them proud. i want to make them laugh. i just want them to be happy. there are times that i feel like im a nobody. they make me realize. as much as i need them in my life, they need me too. that are what friends for. 

im a somebody.

:)

hip hip..

horraaaayyyyy!

:)

FACT 1

FACT: do u know humans cant even shut their fucking mouth up?

there are alot to say. but their locked inside my head. preventing me from expressing myself. from telling u people about what im feeling. im not the kind of girl who would walk up to people and start talking about problems. i prefer to keep it inside. i prefer to suffer alone. yes. there are people who would never see me snap. like a dried twig that u step on. no one really know how am i when im really angry. i prefer to keep it bottled inside me. rather than letting it all out. yes. maybe one day, i might burst into flames. turn into a super saiya and fly high up in the sky and destroy all the planets except pluto. :)

people talk and talk and talk. but they never think. worlds can really hurt. and the scars remain forever. stop talking and start caring. please.

love is blind

yes. memang cinta itu buta. cinta itu hanya tipu daya hati dan perasaan. yes. maybe ramai orang ramai kisah cinta nya. tapi siapa tau? maybe si dia tu orang yang korang cari slama ni. aku tak nafikan memang penat nak cari cinta. lagi lagi kalau dah banyak kali putus cinta. hmm. tapi nak buat cane kn. we never know.

memang tak nafi. cinta buat kita buta. kalau ikut pengalaman. memang dh hancur luruh dah hati aku skang. because of love, everything seems perfect. everything seems normal. dari pandangan mata orang lain? susah kan. kalau aku dengar cakap housemate aku dlu, tak kan aku jadi macam ni. shit! memang sangat sangat menyesal. tapi. nk buat cane. dh nasib badan. lepas tu aku sedar. memang penting dengar pendapat orang. sebab. jeng jeng jeng. kalau aku xdengar pendapat orang, aku tak kan tau orang dok guna aku untuk shopping. hahahahahahaha! bodoh gila. rasa nak sepak je. sumpah mnyampah kalau pikir pikir balik.

let bygone be bygone. bia la. malas aku nak peduli pasal beliau dah. lantak la. berbalik kepada cerita asal. yesssssss... cinta itu buta. love is blind. kattelei dey palette. haha! tu bahasa mana ntah aku blaja. aku pon tibai je la. im happy now. im happy with my life. my family. my super special someone. my crazy yet loyal friends.

i love u guys so fucking much! :)

aku xtau aku mrepek ap.

Is it me u looking for?

Hmmm. Truth to be told, I'm not the kind of girl that u should ever wish on marrying. I'm ignorant and childish. I'm coldhearted to the bone. I'm not someone that u should ever listen to. Because everything i've said is not true. I'm not protecting. I'm not kind. I'm not the person who u would ever want to have waking up next to u. I'm silly and I'm crazy. I laugh too much and I cry all the same. I hate cold morning bath and I hate washing the dishes. I hate doing the laundry. I hate getting up in the morning. I hate ironing. I'm a stubborn little bitch. Believe me. I suck at being nice and I suck at being a good girlfriend. I'm intolerable. I'm good at being a bitch. I would never be a good wife. I'm suck at handling little babies. I'm not a good mother and I'm not a good wife. I suck at these and u bastards should keep away from me. I'm a disaster. A nuclear reaction waiting to explode. Stay away k boys. Bye.

Sakit

Kdg kdg ttnya plak. Knp aku sakit sakit. Leteh slalu kna hadap rasa sakit tiap masa. Tiap tiap Kali bangun pagi rasa macam ad benda yang cucuk dada. Rasa pedih sangat. Kna tahan rasa sakit tu.everyday,bnda yang sama. Bila nak sembuh? Maybe orang xkn sangka aku tha sakit. Orang akan ingat aku ni happy sentiasa. Sentiasa senyum. Sentiasa nk gelak. Bukan maksud aku nak tipu. Aku malas nak bebankan orang lain. As long as they're happy, I'm happy. Bukan tempat aku nak mempertikaikan kehendak Allah. Maybe ad hikmah. Maybe xde. Sape tau. Semuanya ada dalam tangan yang ESA. Siapa aku nak bising bising n cakap semua ni x adil? Ad lagi orang yang keadaannya lagi teruk dr aku. Siapa tau kn. Bagi mereka,rasa sakit aku ni hanya secebis je dari seksa yang dyeorg trima. Alhamdullillah. Aku masih brnyawa. Aku masih ada dalam dunia ni. Aku masih mampu bernafas. Alhamdullillah.

Death

A friend of mine have just past away yesterday. And one of them is in a coma. I want to go home please. I want to see them. I just want to go home. Please. Mommy, I wanna go home please. I'm begging u.

wishlist

Hmm..nk buat braces.but braces is really really expensive.kna kerja dulu before bole buat.tapi xpe.gg masih lawa.haha!

Banyak yang ad dalam my wishlist.there are things,I just wish I can have but there are also things that I wish I could throw away,as far as I could.
Have u ever seen an E30 with 2 doors? That's my dream car. Maybe most of the people out there would think that I'm a girl with no taste for liking that piece of junk. But still, gthmthfcr. :D



My mum ask me to go to the stewardess audition that day. Idkw. I'm not good enough. I'm not tall enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not smart enough. It would be fun being a stewardess. But still, I'm not good enough.

What is tassle?I want to know. :D

Actually now I'm bored.and I got nothing else to do. I'm sitting here, with jaja. Under the comforter. Hugging the pillow as hard as I can. I wish I can just dissapear.

pokai

saya dengan ini mengishtiharkan bahawa, saya sudah pokai.
terima kasih.

bosan

tonight seems dull. and i wish that there are ways to make it shine. i miss my brother. i miss my room. i miss my sister and my mum. and i miss my dad most of all. sometimes, i just wish that ur here with me.
ayah, i miss the way that u always makes me laugh long time ago. now, i cant see u that much now. i miss u.

kawan kawan saya lagi

banyak kan post aku pasal kawan kawan aku. hihi. ntah la. dyeorg sgt bermakna kot. aku just nak share btapa hebatnya dyeorg dalam hati aku. dyeorg ni datang dari pelbagai tempat, pelbagai keturunan, pelbagai bangsa, pelbagai peringkat umur dan pelbagai pelbagai la. macam macam adaaa. yang penting, aku sayang dyeorg.


1. dyeorg xkan susahkan sape sape pon dgn sngaja. kalau bole, dyeorg xnk gtau pon msalah dyeorg. dyeorg akan simpan.dyeorg akan try sdaya upaya dyeorg, so that, ktorg yang lain xkan rasa terbeban. dyeorg xkan cte pon ap msalah dyeorg. dyeorg xkan buat korg risau pk pasal msalah dyeorg.
2. dyeorg akan tolong dgn sgala kudrat yang ada kalau ada sape sape dalam masaalah. sumpah xtipu. deorg akan try dyeorg pnya the best utk tolong orang. slagi dyeorg ada ikhtiar, slagi tu la dyeorg akan try nk tolong korg. sampai memang xde jalan lain.
3. dyeorg akan happykan sape sape yang down. dyeorg akan buat lawak, dyeorg akan bg korg gelak. dyeorg akan naikkan mood korg sampai korg lupa masalah korg. dyeorg akan buat ko happy balik. walaupon hanya buat masa tu. tapi dyeorg xkan sanggup tengok korang sedih sorg sorg.
4. dyeorg friendly. dyeorg xkan bagi ko rasa kekok. dyeorg akan layan ko macam dh lama kenal. best! kawan kawan aku yang aku ajak lepak skali pon cakap dyeorg best. dyeorg akan buat korang rasa slesa. akan buat korg lebey relax. so, smua bole have fun.
5. dyeorg akan share. memang ada masa, ktorg akan sengkek. kalau sorg tu ad duit lebey, dyeorg akan share. kalau xpon, dyeorg akan share makan skali.xkesah la nasik bujang ke ap ke. yang penting, niat tu penting. tp nasik bujang pon sdap ap. ish.
6. dyeorg akan saling igt mngingatkan. kalau sape sape yang ada kelas pagi, dyeorg akan consider plan. klas kelas pagi, dyeorg akan bagi jalan utk balik awal. saling remind each other pasal kelas,assgment, ksihatan dan sgala gala yang penting.

ada banyak lagi. tapi yang aku tau. aku sayang dyeorg. aku anggap dyeorg cam family aku dah. kalau ada sape sape yang cari pasal dgn family aku, ko tgu la. sumpah aku cakap. aku sangat sangat pentingkan dyeorg. sape sape yang nk try buat palat, dpersilakan. dyeorg jaga aku baik baik slama ni. jadi sape sape yang try nak sakitkan dyeorg, ko tgu la. aku xcakap aku nak buat apa. tapi just tunggu. :D

abang

mak, saya nak ada abang. bole x?

hehehe. kalau bole, memang aku nak ada abang. mesti best kan kan kan. aku dengan perangai x serupa pompuan nih. ishh. memang xngam la dgn kakak aku yang memang macam pompuan melayu terakhir. pijak semut pon xmati. caya la beb. kebal kot semut semut zaman skang. hmm. nak dijadikan cerita. aku ni dok mengidam la nk dapat abang. aku nak ada abang weyyy. dye mesti la yang best n yang hensem cam aku. hehe. mesti best kn kn kn. dapat lepak sama, dapat dok lepak kua sama. mesti dye akan salu mntak tolong aku mintak num awek awek yang cun cun. waaaa. besss. dapat la komisyen sket. hehehe.

tapi kalau aku ada abang, maybe aku xjadi cmni. mesti aku g lepak ngan abang aku memanjang je tym skola dulu dulu n xblaja btol btol. n maybe xla aku dapat sampai penang ni haaa. hehe. ada hikmah kot mak aku plan cmtu. sape tau kn kn kn. bsyukur la emma. ko nh.

tp kn kat penang, aku dapat banyak abang abang angkat. ad 'abang abang' yang konon nya nak jaga adik dyeorg yg sekor nih. aku ah tu. abang abang cmtu pon xle nak pakai sangat. lain cte nye. ish3. manusia manusia. macam macam je prangai. rambut memang dh xsama kaler, hati ag la lain lain. tuhan je la yang tau.

tapi kn kn kn kn. ada satu abang nih aku sangat sangat berkenan. nak melamar dan jadikan beliau sebagai abang aku. abang yang aku dah anggap cam darah daging aku. dye bnyak bg aku nasihat. bnyak cte kat aku kisah kisah dye zaman zaman dinasor dlu. dye memang slalu bcerita. sanagt sangat peramah. xpnah ag aku rasa kekok kua dgn dye. dalam banyak banyak lawak yang dia buat, gerenti pnya la ada nasihat. tp memang logik la. dye bnyak ag makan garam dr aku yang baru setahun jagung ni. ntah la. aku pon xtau cmna jadi cmtu. yang kompem nye, aku sayang beliau. sangat sangat! klau dye jd abang aku, jadi aku bole dpt sorg kakak ipar. haaa. best kn kn kn. 2 in 1. awek dye sangat sangat baik. bes! aku ske! abang aku ni plak, kalau bole, g mana mana pon dye nak heret awek dye. ye la. sayang kn. dyeorang sangat sweet. cm air gula. takot kencing manes plak. ishhh. xmo xmo.

td dye panggil aku adik pon bole buat aku tharu dan mnitiskan air mata jantan aku nih. hahaha! tharu sial. hancur ke-macho-an aku. tapi xpe. aku buat buat cool. tp dye xtau plak yang aku da nangis. hihi! apa apa pon, abangku, aku sayang kau! ad ap ap prob, gtau la aku. kalau aku bole tolong, slagi kudrat aku ada nak tolong, aku akan tolong. ishhh. susah plak. ko roger je la aku ek abang. :D

p/s: abang, aku tetap ensem ag dr kauuuu. jangan jeles ek nyah.

aku

aku bukan sombong. cuma malu. 

di ingatkan lagi sekali. aku bukan sombong.

cuma malu.

memang aku bukan orang yang korang akan cakap aku ni pemalu. memang muka xtau malu. memang la. tapi ad certain benda yang aku x selesa, aku xkan buat. aku malu. bukan sebab aku jual mahal ke ap. tapi aku malu.

faham? 

sumpah aku xpnah nk jual mahal ke sombong ke. sumpah xpnah nak ada niat nak buat cmtu. serious cakap.tapi, cmna skalipon. aku ni pompuan yg ensem. ada rasa malu nye. sorry la kepada sapa sapa yang penah terasa yang aku ni sombong. aku mintak maap sangat sangat. tak sengaja dari ujong kuku kaki, sampai ke ujong rambut aku. mintak maap na. 

sorry.  

unfair

sometimes life seems unfair.

tapi hidup ni memang ad turun naik nye.

pasang surut nye.

naik turun nye.

gunong ganang nye.

bukit bukau nye.

kn kn kn.

memang tuhn buat hidup kita macam tu. xkan la nak salu bahagia je. mak aku salu cakap, jangan gelak banyak, nanti nangis. memang benda ni jadi macam tu. terer mak aku. haha! 

memang hidup ni ko xley nak predict. apa apa pon akan jadi. bila bila masa skalipon. maybe masa ni pon ad hidup orang lain hancor berkecai. sape tau. ko xtau. aku pon xtau. 

tapi yg aku tau. ada satu masa nanti smua tu akan pulih. ko akan rasa bahagia. tuhan akan bagi ko nikmat hidup nih. walaupon ap jadi. sebab tuhan sayang akan hambanya. manatau masa kecik dlu2, basikal ko kena langgar lori. besar2 ni, dapat plak pixie. haaaa. bak kata omputeh sblah umah aku, god works in a magical way. sape tau macam mana cara dia nak bagi ko happy. jadi bila ada benda benda yang buat korg happy, bbnyak la bsyukur. bbnyak la terima kaseh. bbnyak la smyg, bbnyak la bdoa. mana tau, apa apa bole jadi lepas tu.

amin.

secrets.

yea. we all have secrets. semua orang ada. perdana menteri pon ada, mak aku pon ada, nenek aku pon ada. semua adaaaa. 

secrets ni susah. ko salah bagitau orang, macam macam bole jadi. bole buat gadoh. bole mati. tapi secrets ni, kadang kadang ko kena bagitau. ntah la. ada macam macam reason. ada macam macam sebab. orang plak ada pelbagai ragam, pelbagai kaler, pelbagai rahsia. n bukan semua orang bole nak accept ap yang ko gtau dyeorg.

 kn kn kn.

 hidup ni memang susah. bukan semua rahsia ko bole nak cte. psal rahsia ni ko kna pk 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 kali sblom ko bagitau orang. xpasal pasal heboh 1 dunia yang ko berak lam sloa masa darjah 5. haaa.. xpasal pasal.

:D

masa itu emas.

makin lama aku dok sini, makin letih. aku nak kena tunggu masa untuk operate ag. sakit. sumpah sakit. aku buat buat kuat. macam badang. lagipun sbb aku kan hensem. 

:D

masa operate yang last year, aku menangis. ilang macho aku. dala bilik operate tu, aku menangis. sakit nya, Allah je la yang tau. ko kena sedar sepanjang tempoh dye operate. 2 jam kot. ko kena baring dan tunggu. lepas operate, aku balik rumah. darah melimpah ruah cam dalam iklan coco crunch. berbekal kan pain killer dan plaster je. sumpah cuak tengok darah yang membuak buak. masa tu, aku takot aku ilang darah yang banyak je. sebab masa tu plak, aku *ehem ehem*. kering aku. dracula pon xnak minum darah aku sebab kesian aku mati kering. masa tu aku buat buat gagah. sebab xnak mak aku tau betapa sakitnya badan aku. kebas. xley nak gerak banyak. ko angkat tangan pon, darah bole kua. ishh. sadis. 

bila mak aku gerak g ipoh, sumpah masa tu aku tipu. aku cakap xsakit. mak aku tanya ok ke x. aku cakap ok. sorry mak. tipu sunat. makan pon kena pantang. nak xnak. aku kena kluar rumah, beli makanan yang berkhasiat. xley nak makan maggi memanjang. kesian kat aku ni kan. hahaha!

ni aku kena tunggu lagi tarikh keramat. ya Allah, aku cuak. aku kena lalui benda yang sama 2 kali. tapi yang ni lagi sakit dari yang aritu. sebab blom bedah ag dah sakit. nyilu yang teramat. hadoyai. sabar la emma. Allah xkan bagi dugaan macam ni kepada hamba nya yang xbermaya. jadi, aku ni kuat!

ada hikmah di sebalik semua ni. tuhan je yang tau. 

:D

so called friends.

skang aku da jumpa ramai kawan kawan yang jadi talam dua muka. 

bukan aku nak cakap aku ni baik. memang xla. maybe aku lebih terok dr kawan kawan aku yang lain. but still, bab kawan, aku akan jaga sebaik mungkin. sebab kalau xde kawan, ko memang xde life. walaupun ko pandai camna skalipon, kalau xde kawan, ko akan bosan. sumpah bosan. kadang kadang ad je kawan yang aku sangka baik, jadi backstabber. hmm. susah kn kn kn. jadi bosan plak. jadi takot nak caye kat org 100%. tup tap, ko plak yang kna pijak. bia la kn. da perangai macam tu. masalah dye la. tapi kn, bukan aku sorg yang kena. ramai ag. n yang lain lain tu, smua kawan kawan aku. dyeorg pon dok ngadu kat aku. aku pon malas nak mnyebelahi sape sape. tapi buat orang yang tertentu tu, tolong la, mintak maaf kat kawan aku tu. kesian kat dye. habis duit beliau nak menyara kau. pk la baik2. manusia ni banyak kerenah. kalau satu hari nanti ko jumpa orang yang niat jahat, cmna? ko gak yang kena. aku bukan apa. aku ni dah cukup terok, aku xnak la kawan kawan aku ikot jejak langkah aku ni. sakit tau kalau dah kena. memang sangat sakit. 

ish ish ish. 

aku bukan nak mintak ko bayar balik segala apa yang ko dah susahkan orang lain nih. tapi, be a good friend is enough. sebab kawan tu lagi mahal dari kawan. kawan kawan yang baik memang akan accept ko kalau ko berubah. sumpah cakap. 

please. jangan ikot jejak langkah aku. 

rambut bru LAGI

pendek. pendek. pendek. 

tunggu. tunggu. tunggu.

panjang. panjang. panjang.

 :D

mature

mature.

aku memang bukan orang yang mature.

memang x mature langsung. 

umor dh nk 20.

prangai cm budak budak.

macam kanak kanak ribena.

keje nk gelak je.

aku rasa la kn

dalam hidup aku, aku xpnah ag buat mak aku bangga. entah la. benda benda yang aku buat nampak cam remeh. and x penting walau sikit pun. susah nak bagi mak bapak aku kagum dengan apa yang aku buat, yang aku pandai buat, buat dyeorg marah dan sedih. kadang kadang aku pk gak. bla aku nk berubah. sampai bila aku nak hidup macam ni. xkan la sampai aku tua. umor mak bapak aku pon dah lanjut. bila bila masa je Allah bole nak tarik balik nikmat parents. kn kn kn. menangis air mata darah pon da xguna da masa tu. dye xkan hidup balik. ko menyesal cmna skali pon, xde guna. dorg da balik kat Allah. ko hanya mampu berdoa. moga moga dorg ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang beriman. 

panjangkan la umor mak ayah aku. amin.

found him.

ive found my special someone. and i trusted him to guide me. im truly grateful to have u. 

and thank you for having me. as i am not perfect.

alhamdulillah. 

:D

may we live happily ever after sayang!
amin.

berleter.

post aku kali ni. 

ntah la. hidup aku yang dah tak menentu. dah terumbang ambing. macam ko lepas naik roller coaster tu. pening kn kn kn. pk psal benda benda yang remeh. benda benda yang buat aku sakit hati. ntah la.

sejak kebelakangan nih. banyak benda dah jd. hmm. bnda yg aku xpnah pk akn jd. jd gak. mslah kn kn kn. ishhh. fikir fikir balik, aku jd mls nak pduli. susah kn kn kn. tarik nafas. panjang panjang. now, hembussssss...

fuhhhhhhhhhhh~~

tuhan je yang tau ap dalam kepala hotak aku nih skng. tuhan je tau btapa bnyak kali nya aku mntak di tamatkan riwayat hanya di sebabkan masalah masalah. kadang kadang aku rasa menyesal mintak benda yang bukan bukan dr tuhan. bukan nya ingat kat tuhan bla happy. bila happy, dalam otak nak enjoy je. bila susah, mintak nak mati. ap nak jadi kat aku nih pon aku xtau.

kalau aku di panjangkan riwayat, aku nak ada family aku sendiri. anak anak aku nak jaga supaya tak akan jadi macam aku. aku nak dyeorg jadi anak yang taat. bukan macam aku. ntah la. aku rasa aku ni dah tergolong dalam golongan anak derhaka kot. selalu je melawan cakap mak. melawan cakap ayah. buat mak and ayah nangis. buat dyeorg risau. buat dyeorg takut. besarnya dosa aku.

aku bukan kakak n adik yang baik. kakak aku pon aku boleh nak marah. aku memang kurang ajar. terok kan. bila dah gadoh, bukan mulut je yg gerak. dgn tangan n kaki aku keluarkan. ish. terok. adik aku pulak. slalu dah dia kena terajang dan penumbuk aku. yes. aku memang lasak. tapi menyesal kot skang. darah daging aku yang aku tendang, tengking, tumbok tu. 

gila kan. tapi xkan aku nak jadi macam tu sampai bila bila. aku pon nak berubah. dan berubah tu perlu masa. lama mana masa yang seseorg tu nk pakai, terpulang la. yang penting niat tu ada. usaha tu kna ada. biar org kutok ko ckp ko buang tabiat. let them talk. mulut manusia. memang xkan tutup. even mulut aku. 

so, let it be.

jodoh

kawen kawen kawen.

dari  dulu sampai sekarang.

gatal nye nak kawen. kn kn kn. 

tp sape yang tak pernah imagine, cmne dia akan kawen nanti? 

jodoh boleh tiba bila bila masa, di mana jua anda berada. 

ko tengah buat ap, katne, pon jodoh bole sampai kat ko.

best kn.

cba imagine kalau ko dah tau sape jodoh ko dr kecik.

ap akan jadi dgn hidup kau.

macam xde thrill kn. maybe ad sebab tuhan xnak kau tau sape jodoh kau.

kita manusia je. yg ad nafsu, yg ad keinginan. 

yg kiri kanan depan belakang ada syaitoonnnnn yg kacau. 

bila bila masa je iman kita bole runtuh. sekelip mata. 

wahh. power kn syaitonn nh.

kuatkan la iman. 

kadang kadang aku terfikir. 

cmna la hidup anak anak aku nnti. even skng dh ramai anak anak muda malaysia nh, dh rosak. 

ntah la. aku takut sgt2 klau anak anak aku jd mcm tu. takut aku xley nak didik dyeorg jd anak yang soleh dan solehah.kesian kat anak anak aku. 

kalau ada jodoh, aku nak suami yang bole bawak aku berubah. aku xnk hidup mcam ni sampai bila bila. gila apa. ko nk g jumpa mak mertua mcm ni? aku xsempat nk jejak kaki masok umah g, dh kenaa reject. sadis nye. msti sorg ibu tu nak anak dye bwak balik pompuan yg sopan, kalau boleh yang menutup aurat, jaga sembahyang. kn kn kn. kalau x, sape nak doakan dyeorg bla dyeorg dh xde? org cari wife skang dh x tgk cantik ke x rupa fizikal tu. dyeorg tgk cantik ke tak iman pompuan tu. kalau dapat wife lawa tapi perangai liar mngalahkan harimau bintang, buat apa? baik letak lam zoo je. 

kuatkan la iman aku. 

amin.

rindu.

aku rindu kawan kawan aku. :D

100 truths

Rules: Once you've been tagged

you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you.

At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

You have to tag the person who tagged you.

Tagged means "I'm interested in knowing what are your 100 truths".

(To do this, copy and paste this note,
erase my answers and enter your own)

Special Thanks to : nora iwana for the tag ! 

1. Real name: Emma Naziera Binti Saleh

2. Nickname(s): emma, emot.

3. Zodiac Sign: gemini

4. Male or Female: female

5. Elementary School: sekolah rendah agama bintulu

6. High School: kolej tun datu tuanku hajji bujang miri, smk kidurong

7. College: Universiti Teknologi MARA kampus Pulau Pinanag 

8. Hair color: hmm. brown?

9. Tall or short : medium size. :D

10. TV or XBOX : xbox! 

11. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans 

12. Phone or Camera: camera

13. Health Freak: none

14. Orange or Apple: apple.

15. Do you have a crush on someone: sure. 

16. Eat or Drink: huh? yes?

17. Piercings: 4 piercings. ears. next on my list is my tongue. 

18. Pepsi or Coke: coke.

HAVE YOU EVER?

19. Been in an airplane: Yes

20. Been in a relationship: Yes

21. Been in a car accident: yes. family crash.

22. Been in prison: nope.

FIRSTS?

23. First piercing: 2. both ears.

24. First best friend: philomina lighter.

25. First award: idk.

26. First crush: darjah 6 kot. 

27. First word: gugu gaga?

28. First kiss : comolot ke?

LAST?

29. Last person you talked to in person: izyan hasnan

30. Last person you texted: alan.

31. Last person you watched a movie with: izyan hasnan.

32. Last food you ate : nasik n ayam goreng kat cahaya.

33. Last movie you watched :  season of the witch.

34. Last song you listened to: Trey Songz - Bottoms Up ft. Nicki Minaj 

35. Last thing you bought: revive.

36. Last person you hugged: idk.

FAVORITES?

37. Food: kangkung.

38. Drink: limau ais.

39. Skirts or dress : dress. 

40. Flower: lily.

41. Animal: iguana

42. Colours: black n red

43. Movies: Comedy, action

44. Subjects: none. :D

HAVE YOU EVER:

(Put an X in the brackets if yes )

45. [ XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ] fell in love with someone

46. [    ] celebrated Halloween

47. [ XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ] had your heart broken.

48. [ X ] went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone.

49. [    ] had someone question my sexual orientation.

50. [ X ] copy friends' answers in exam.

51. [    ] got pregnant.

52. [    ] had an abortion.

53. [ XXXXXXXXXXXX ] did something I regret.

54. [ X ] broke a promise.

55. [ X ] hide a secret.

56. [ XXXXXXXXXXXX ] pretended to be happy.

57. [ X ] met someone who changed your life.

58. [ XXXXXXXXX ] pretended to be sick

59. [    ] left the country.

60. [ X ] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it. (not in a wrong way.)

61. [ X ] cried over the silliest thing.

62. [ X ] ran a mile.

63. [ X ] went to the beach with your best friend.

64. [ X ] kick someone's leg

65. [ X ] hated someone.

66. [ X ] stayed single for 2 years

RIGHT NOW

67. Eating: nope

68. Drinking: nope 

69. Listening: yea

70. Sitting/Laying: Sitting

71. Plans for today: ignore class.

72. Waiting: to die.

YOUR FUTURE:

73. Want kids? yes!

74. Want to get married? yes.

75. Career: engineer.

76. Lips or Eyes: eyes.

77. Shorter or Taller: Taller.

78. Romantic or Spontaneous : spontaneous!

79. Cook for wife / husband: will learn and will do. :D 

80. House: any kind as it is comfortable.

81. In relationship with: none

82. Looks or personality: Personality.

HAVE YOU EVER:

83. Lost glasses/contacts: Yes. bru je.

84. Stay up for 24 hours: yea.

85. Watching cartoon: kalau ada. pasangkan astro!

86. Killed somebody: wish i could.

87. Broken someone's heart: most likely to be.

88. Been in love: Yessss

89. Cried when someone died: many times.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

90. Yourself: not quite.

91. Miracles: Yes.

92. Love at first sight: Yes :D

93. Heaven: Yes

94. Santa Claus: No.

95. First date : Yes

96. Kiss on the first date: No.

TRUTHFULLY:

97. Is there one person you want to be with right now: Yes.

98. Do you know who your real friends are: Yes. i hope so.

99. Do you believe in ALLAH: YES OF COURSE !

100. Post as 100 truths? Yeahhh DONE !!