daddy

ayah, i have hurt u a lot since im born kn. please dont lie. i can see it in your eyes. 

ayah, im not the perfect little girl who u always dream of having. i am not miss goody goody two shoe. i have lied to u a lot. i am not the best daughter. comparing me and kakak, there are a huge, i mean really really huge difference between us. i am not smart ayah, but im struggling. i really am. im trying to be the best for u. to make u proud but somehow, things doesnt go along. shit happens. im blaming myself for making u cry. im blaming myself for making u think about all those silly things that ive done. u shouldnt have been thinking about me. u should not be worrying about anything right now. i am not a good daughter ayah. im sorry. i just want to say that im sorry for all the things that ive done. i love u ayah. eventhough we dont even talk much. i miss all those things u have done when i was little. sending me to school before u go to work. all those jokes. all those laughter. we dont have that anymore. 

i miss u. :( 

happy fathers day.