mummy

mak salu cakap. bdn je besar tp otak kecik. referring to me infront of her friends.

yes mummy. i do have small brains. im stupid. i know that. dont have to tell the whole world about that.

my sister is currently studying in utp now. universiti teknologi petronas. big names for ppl with big brains. larger IQs. and i. im currently studying in uitm. yes mummy. its just a small university to be compared with utp. yes i know. ive been there. but mummy. im not smart enough. im just a stupid girl living under my sister`s shadow. mummy, u always compared me to emmi. dont u realise that it hurts?

yes, i know that she is brighter than i am. in every single way possible. i know that. ur proud of her. not of me.ur blaming me for my stupidness. i heard u talked abt that with daddy. it hurts. mummy dont u know that it hurts. its tearing me apart. u make me feel that im useless. i cried myself out that day. i cried in my room. in the cupboard. i cried and i cried. u make me feel bad. and for that, i thanks u.

from the bottom of my heart. thanks.